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Be The Rare Bird

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“Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.” Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho.

Most of people in this peculiar world probably can deny not to believe in love but surely they can-not avoid to feel in the love even the unconscious one. On the book of Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes, as stated above, as human beings we have the love in ourselves and we ought not to burden someone else to give us the love though we need them to put this miraculous thing. Most people seem to have a lifetime mission: to find true love for approaching their end eventually. In the meantime, however, adversities arise from time to time, challenging them to find ‘The One’. By the time goes by, they are turning older and their circle shrinks. Meeting new people is a limited order. Even if against all odds they cross a path with someone, they sometimes don’t not make it work as they often force themselves to accept that someone who actually does not suit them but being present at the moment. And they often attempt to believe it’s all they have to do since it makes sense not because they desire to last with that someone

In the search of “The One” nowadays, dating platforms and parties take a big part of it and (just like in our island) these ways become ultimate pools to accomplish the mission. I have seen quite a scene across the land: women intentionally dressing up to attract men in club sand men boost their manhood to show women their capability of having such a good time. Likewise on Tinder, a popular dating app in Bali, people put their best pictures enclosed with engaging bio, sparing their time to swipe left or right, maximizing their luck of love. Then when the seeds have finally eaten, they impulsively expect to go home with a rare bird and live happily ever after.

Constituting to Matthew Hussey’s (a human dynamics coach, a dating columnist of Cosmpolitan USA, and a New York Times bestselling author) theory about ‘A Rare Bird’, I somewhat believe in the law of attraction which uniting one person to another person because there is a pulling trigger. Hussey argues, “A good person with an edge is a rare bird. To attract a rare bird you have to be a rare bird. Embodying unique pairings is the key to being someone of incredible, perceived value.” On his video he explains this theory by a brief story:

“One day a girl meets a cocky, self-assured guy in a club or sort of a bar. They talk all night then when the girl happens to see nothing could happen between them and assumes it’s all about one night thingy, at the end of the night the guy says: ‘All jokes aside, I’m having a great night’. He promises to call her within the week and hails a cab for her to go home.”

This guy exemplifies a unique pairing; a cocky and self-assured guy on one hand and caring gentleman on the other hand. He is a rare bird! To comply with this rare bird, a secret recipe is to be a rare bird as well. Hussey also unfolds that if you are just pretty and sweet you are replaceable. If you are just smart and brave guy, you are replaceable. Therefore, as the quote goes, you should awaken the love inside you but being a unique pairing. It is not about being someone else, it is about how you explore your-self to be beyond your ordinary self, for a better reason. Case in point, if you are a European living in Bali you probably can still bring your Western habit, going to clubs almost every night but actually you are also a person who practices Balinese rituals, learning to make a canang sari (Balinese daily offering) and helping the locals to distribute it on the streets. Similarly, if you are a Balinese, you can still respectfully implement your household, attending every ceremony but once you gather in a diverse community you are seen like a digital nomad. 

In addition, employing as a rare bird I guess is not only for singletons. Married couples should bare this rule in mind too for the sake of spicing things up. Remember that you will have a life-time journey with your spouse and to maintain the sparks is not an easy task. Be spontaneous, be full of surprise and be the rare bird for each other. You may promote this rule to your partner and ask him or her to play along. If you used to be a hard-working person, now you can mix it up a little by buying f lowers for your wife every morning and having a lazy Sunday, doing nothing at home (movie time all day perhaps) with your family. For a good change, it will not hurt anybody, won’t it? What’s important is to share the love in yourself by having unique pairings (extraordinary qualities in yourself) and being irresistible to your partner or potentially partner. Good luck to you (and so to me)!


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